Ok, so my SECOND night already, and I’m headed for luxury. A really – really nice suite in New Orleans. It was far too far to drive to work every day so they found me accomdations much closer to work and LOOK! A BED!.. uh. But. There’s a catch. There’s still no water, so we’re talking Evian sink showers, but I’LL TAKE IT!
The poor clerk looked at me when I arrived like I was crazy. I apparently was and have since vowed to try and remember where the hell I am! I guess the step up from the Gym made me think I was Weezy Jefferson or something. I remember now who and where I am. Still, I’m very sorry I made him go through a drill, I’m sure he had gone through enough.
“Uh..No sir. There’s no valet. I’m the only one working tonight (we’re talking a big hotel. One person.) Uh, no sir – even ‘if’ we had employees, which we don’t, they wouldn’t be able to get to work because of the curfew. So. We are a staff of 8 who have stayed and we rotate shifts. We don’t change the rooms. If you want fresh linens there’s a closet on the second floor help yourself. There’s no cable, don’t bother with the TV remote. There’s no hot breakfast – don’t ask. There ‘is’ dinner however since the city has no restaurants and there’s no place to eat. So, dinner will be brought to you tomorrow, complimentary by our hotel sales and booking staff. The cooks are gone. There’s no newspaper in the morning, no mail service – no you can’t receive packages here. And, the smell? That’s the garbage. The city has no garbage trucks. And no – you may not park in the hotel garage. It’s been commandeered by the police department it’s now an official city police parking garage. Where do ‘you’ park?? Um. Wherever the hell you want! Who’s gonna ticket you? Who’s gonna tow you!? Did you see all the abandoned cars in the street? on the sidewalks? windows busted out and car doors wide open? “???” Do you think they really care that your freakin-governmental-rental-Camry is in a red zone?”
Uh. Oops. I am in another dimension. My bad. Sorry.