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Category Archives: Places

A Follow Up to the Post Gay Blog

01 Monday Dec 2014

Posted by Solis R. in Diversity, Houston, Life & Living

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Gay, gay bar, night club, night clubs

After a weekend of fun in Houston and going out to several night clubs (I rarely night club any longer. It holds no fascination and unless I’m dancing, or karaoke-ing there’s not much going on for me), it was interesting to see the mix of folks at at least 5 places we hopped to.

These were all ‘gay’ establishments. Places known to be gay bars, or where gay folks predominately mingle.

Except.. where were the gays? They were there to be sure, but hard to pick out among the heterosexual couples and the bride-and-her-maids parties. It sparked a conversation with one of my travel companions about the disparaging state of night club gatherings.

My argument was this. We can’t have it both ways. Sure, we can long for the days when a gay bar, was a gay bar. But, we would be up in arms if a night club labeled itself ‘straight’ and discouraged gay customers from entering. Such is the reciprocity in a post gay world. Bars are just.. bars.

Sure, there will be establishments that cater to a gay clientele but it probably won’t be much bigger a distinction than this one plays hip hop music, and this one plays electronica.

I suppose it will make it more challenging for those who go to bars to make a love connection, but I can assure you – the pickings there have always been slim. Now, they’ll just be slimmer 🙂

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Solis R. of Austin Texas: Lakeshore Retreat, Olympia Washington

11 Tuesday Dec 2012

Posted by Solis R. in Austin, Round Up, Solis R, Speakers, Spirituality & Recovery, Texas, Uncategorized & Miscellaneous

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Austin, Lakeshore Retreat, Olympia Washington, Solis R, Texas

Lakeshore Retreat, Olympia WashingtonAttending the Lakeshore Retreat was such a great time. Met some new folks and had a great time meeting new folks. But, of course, catching up with my friends from Seattle and Vancouver is always a delight.

Solis R. of Austin Texas

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SPEAKER: Jimm M of Austin, Texas

11 Tuesday Dec 2012

Posted by Solis R. in Austin, Speakers, Spirituality & Recovery, Texas

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AA, Austin, Austin Galano Club, Double M, Jimm M, Lambda Live and Let Live, Recovery, Sober, Sobriety

Jimm M. Recording

 

We had our annual Holiday Auction last weekend. It was amazing how much work went into this year’s event. It was quite the extravaganza. The hall looked great and folks seemed to have a genuinely exciting and fun evening. Our friend Double M was the speaker and our friends in San Antonio asked us to post this, with his permission. So, here it is.

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Three Amigos in San Francisco

15 Sunday Jul 2012

Posted by Solis R. in California, Dan Beaman, Friends, Places, San Francisco

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California, Dan Beaman, Friends, Princess Fire and Music, San Francisco

 We appreciate every opportunity big and small to hang out with Princess Fire and Music, otherwise known as Dan. He’s such a special person to both of us. We enjoyed his company on our trip to SF and it was divine. As always he was the perfect host.

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Happy Times in the Spring of 2010

15 Sunday Jul 2012

Posted by Solis R. in Austin, Friends, Spirituality & Recovery, Texas

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Austin, Drag, Fun, Little Ricky, Lylac Hell

Came across this picture from a few years ago. My friend Ricky and I enjoying an evening fundraiser. Who wouldn’t want a little lipstick left on their head from the divine Miss Lylac Hell?

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A Much Welcome Weekend Away

29 Sunday Apr 2012

Posted by Solis R. in California, Round Up, Sober, Solis R, Spirituality & Recovery

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California, Friends, Laguna Beach, Laguna NIguel, Miracles Happen 2012 25th Anniversary, Recovery, Round Up, Spirituality, Tracy, Val


The best part about traveling to destinations to spend time with other folks that I meet on this journey is that I have an opportunity to get see where people live, and know them on a more intimate level. Spending the evening in someone’s home and then drinking coffee and chatting is so much more relaxing, and even exciting to me – than seeing sights or landmarks.

Sure, I long to see things I’ve not seen before – like the Statue of Liberty and such. But, the truth is – Lady Liberty isn’t likely to be happy to see me return. Nor, is she particularly welcoming. Not like I experienced this weekend in Orange County, CA with the folks I met.

Spending the weekend in Laguna Beach with folks like Val and Tracy (who were so gracious and allowed me to stay in their home the first night) is part of the many little highlights – that ultimately – make up a life.

My life is comprised of many of these little highlights. meeting folks in Laguna Beach, Vancouver, Seattle, Miami, St. Louis, Kansas City, Phoenix, Omaha, SF, San Jose, Detroit, Houston, Sacramento – everywhere  provides me an opportunity to meet many people.

Some of my friends, give me shit regarding my number of alleged friends on Facebook. But, being in recovery for 27+ years, and traveling the United States to meet people has afforded me the opportunity to say howdy and make friends everywhere. Nothing so much that I’ve done in life has made me feel as connected and filled my life with a purpose and provided me a sense of accomplishment.

I suppose if I spent less time traveling, and focusing on continuing to maintain and expand my recovery circle, I could have accomplished different things. Perhaps I’d have a degree. Maybe I’d have children. Perhaps I would have amassed more material wealth – or some other noteworthy success. But in my quest these last three years to have God reveal to me the meaning of the word “enough”, I’ve been blessed to know that even without these measures of success – I have enough.

It has helped me tremendously let go of envy that I sometimes experience when I measure myself against my peers and others, seeing what they have in their lives brings them happiness – and for that, I should merely share that happiness and allow it to be “enough”.

The truth is, I have a tremendous measurement of success. Albeit, it is measured in different ways. I am confident that the pursuits I have in my life of getting to know people, sharing with others, continuing to develop the relationships I have is what is right – for me. It is allowing me to exhale these days, look at my life, and recognize in every sense of the word, I am blessed, I’m rich, and I truly have “enough”.

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To Thine Own Self…

15 Thursday Mar 2012

Posted by Solis R. in Austin, Dallas, Houston, People & Celebrities, Places, San Antonio, Spirituality & Recovery, Texas

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6th Street, Austin, Change, Downtown, Drag, Drag Queens, Gay, Home, Leslie Cochran, LGBT, Making a Difference, Texas, Transgender

Image

Each of us has the power of changing the world around us. I mean that in all sincerity. Not in the way that some of us envisioned. Perhaps not in the way we plan. Or maybe we have a vision and it comes out completely different than what our imagined reality would look like. But we still have the ability to provide that ingredient that still changes the world for others.

Sometimes perhaps it comes in grand accomplishment or gesture. Or, maybe it can come in the simplest manner possible. The simplest manner of course, would be just be just acting in a way that is true to ourselves.

Who would think that change could be effected by just “being ourselves”?

That was a lesson or insight that one of Austin’s most eccentric characters bestowed upon me. Without formal declaration, or sitting me down and saying “listen to this”. That’s the beauty of this particular lesson. The teacher wasn’t a self-professed teacher. It wasn’t even perhaps his goal or stated mission.

What Leslie Cochran reminded me, is that sometimes eccentricity can be portrayed in a way that  doesn’t have to be threatening or frightening. That crazy can sometimes elicit a giggle. That anger, directed at authority or bureaucracies can have a grace that is more ridiculous than intimidating and yet it still can be taken seriously. That outrageous can have its own impact.

When I first was deciding about whether I could live in Texas, I was faced with many questions. Some of them were perplexities. I wasn’t sure if I’d be safe. Californians, particularly Northern Californians, have an insulated way of looking at cultures. There’s San Francisco liberal, and there’s everywhere else… conservative. We sometimes look at the world this way because SF and much of Northern California in general is ground zero for liberal thought.

Everywhere else is just a remote measurement to the “Ten” that is Berkeley.

Certainly, I thought, Texas, even Austin, would be somewhere down the scale – perhaps a five? Four? I dreaded to go lower.

After all, even though Sacramento is probably an eight to the Bay Area ten, certainly in Texas I’d have to subtract digits from the baseline of the 8 I was used to living in. Rob and I arrived for the sole purpose of finding out where on the scale the various cities in Texas fell.

Houston was wonderful. We loved Houston. But, much how we love cities like Los Angeles and SF. It’s a metropolis. It has museums. It has culture. Arts, all of it. Along with it, it has people. Lots of em. Loads of em in fact. We never have had a desire to live in a place where we felt we’d need to acclimate to a culture by blending into obscurity with it. Big cities make us feel that way. Thank God, Rob and I are like minded in this regard. I don’t know if we could survive a relationship where we were drawn to different cultural living experiences like a push-me-pull-you. Houston 7.5

Dallas is wonderful. We liked Dallas. But, Dallas is like West Hollywood. We feel an undercurrent of competitiveness. Like we could spend the rest of our lives loving living in Dallas provided that we were willing to compromise certain aspects of our lives. Like we’d have to acclimate to a certain materialism that pervades, like leftover aura from the TV show Dallas era. I hope my friends in Dallas don’t read this as a judgment. It’s not that really. I think most would agree Dallas is a unique city in Texas. I once saw it summed up on a T-shirt which read “Keep Austin Weird”. On the reverse side? “Keep Dallas Pretentious”. But we still like Dallas. Dallas 7.

San Antonio was nice. It has an old cities charm. It is in fact one of the oldest cities in America. Thus, the architecture in some areas reflects this. It has a Spanish overtone which makes it seem other worldly, and then the River Walk of course, lends a unique character to it all. The problem we found is when we looked at homes outside of downtown proper it seem to fit more of what our idea of traditional Texas looked like. That is… dry, tan, and flat. In defense of San Antonio, it was August however. San Antonio 6.5

This left Austin. After exploring these other offerings, we were seeking an oasis. There was a reason I left Austin for last. Of the cities I’d visited prior to this important trip, (important because it was one of the checklists for our making a decision, and because it was our honeymoon) Austin was my favorite. I consciously and subconsciously wanted it to be Rob’s favorite too.

It was at once exciting, alive and unique. It was weird with its liberal bent and artistic in a bohemian way that for all of Houston’s money, culture and museums couldn’t muster. It was exciting to be here. To meet the friendly people. To meet with a realtor. And, it was exciting to dream that we could live here.

Then there was the dreaded scale question. We found ourselves walking down 6th street, one of the more touristy and grungy parts of downtown. It’s kitschy what with its souvenir shops and Esther’s Follies, etc. But it wasn’t the best place to answer the scale question.

Could I be safe here? Could I be me? I wondered if I could acclimate. How would I fit in? It was answered in one fell swoop. Upon turning a corner onto congress. Rob snapped a picture that I wish I’d been able to dig up. If I do at a later date, I’ll add it here. But, it was of Leslie Cochran of Congress Street and Austin fame. Leslie in all his fabulous, feather boa, thong, high heels and all.

We didn’t know who he was. We didn’t know what role he played in this cast of characters or that he was even a fixture. I just know I was face to face with the first ever transgendered and from-appearances, homeless person I’d seen. This person, Leslie as I would learn upon a later date introduction was a spectacle. But a peaceful one. And, one that seemed to gracefully blend into the canvas of weirdness. He neither raised eyebrows, or terse reaction. He didn’t receive reproach from passerby for his antics or risqué dress.

I knew in one moment – I’d be ok. I knew on that August day in 2006 that I’d be ok. That I fit Austin. Austin fit me. That I came to judge Austin on a scale. I was used to living in an 8. It hadn’t occurred to me that “I” might have to be willing to move. Could I live in a city at a 9 or even a 10? Yes!

I didn’t expect that. And, in that simple way on this one random day – Leslie Cochran impacted my life. I was later to learn that he impacted many more.

As I would later come across Leslie many times later, once I moved here, Leslie was fascinating to watch. Whether he was posing with his fans or passerby for photos and collecting the occasional dollar. Or whether he was checking the runs in his fishnet stockings in a storefront reflection. Or thumbing for a ride up and down congress. Or peeking into a nearby trashcan, he seemed at once aware of all that was going on around him and oblivious at the same time.

The only time he displayed brashness was at the occasional authority figure (he’d had his own collected experiences with law enforcement and city officials that may have justified is own opinions on this matter).

And on the day of his death, the community came out. In wigs. In tiaras. In mustache. And in the park we let pink balloons fly. Some wiped tears, some wore thongs and heels.

And, I realized that Leslie Cochran had carved out impact in his own little corner of the weird world. Austin.

All he did was be himself.

Himself was enough.

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Farwell to our Champion

06 Thursday Oct 2011

Posted by Solis R. in Diversity, Technology, University of California

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Apple, Farwell, iMac, iPod, Macintosh, Memorial, Steve Jobs, Technology

When I purchased my first Apple in 1992 my friends scoffed. It was the ramp up of an age. The beginning of a new way we would live our lives – with a computer in each of our homes. Many still didn’t own one. “Why” many questioned would I differentiate myself with this product that had far less software, appeared to have less support, certainly had less market share and proliferation and many believed had less of a future than a dominate PC?

But Steve and others at Apple believed that a computer could be friendlier. It could be simple. It could have interfaces that were intuitive. It could ultimately grow and expand to include creative programs and solutions to how we handle our photos, how to integrate our music, how to take a risk and attempt to edit our own videos. This list is endless. We discussed this at work this morning and to the doubters, most of them two generations younger than I who have only known a world with a computer in every home, I felt confident in pointing out everything a PC is today is a direct benefit of Apple showing us it was possible. That these devices could be so much more than a games machine and a word processor. I feel so grateful today that I got to see a company grow from infancy to the amazing success story it is today. For those of us who were loyal from the beginning and who endured the puzzled looks from the rest of the computer world, who simply “didn’t get it” – know that without the perseverance and vision of so many of the people at Apple, under Steve Jobs – we just wouldn’t enjoy life in the same way we enjoy it today. And that is all of us, not just the Apple family.

In 2001, when I was working at UC Davis, my department was literally the last place to find Mac’s anywhere on campus. Thankfully my mentor and boss Winnie was also a Mac person. We had agreed that there would fight to maintain the last Mac and Apple product space for students to use. Little did we know we’d have difficulty with the University. They had decided that we’d be entirely a PC world and that our last resevoir of Apple hope was going to be dismantled.

They wouldn’t allow a purchase order I submitted to go through because it was for Apple products and this conflicted with their new found appreciation for all things non-Apple. We were so fortunate the Apple rep recognized our plight when I conveyed to him our situation and dedication. The new iMacs in all their illustrious turquoise compactness were out and they worked with us to undercut the price all the competitors. They also included a free G3 and a 23″ Cinema Display – at the time cutting edge and awe invoking. It was the centerpiece of our computer resource center at the Cross-Cultural Center. And the day the students came in and saw the new technology – they gave up their grumbling about why we weren’t like every other computer lab on campus and they embraced what they could do with these new computers. We sent Apple a “thank you” with a photo of the many happy faces around our new hardware, and Apple thankfully footed the bill for the banner we flew outside the center announcing the new iMac was HERE. And, only HERE.

When I returned to campus recently and sat with a former colleague in another department as she peeked around her new 24″ cinema display and chatted between bites of her sandwich, I commented how much I admired her new Apple monitor. “You know”, she said “When they said they were replacing my old Dell with this I was worried, but it’s the nicest equipment the Univeristy has ever provided”. It was nice to know that a decade earlier, a few die hard fans and Apple had managed to keep the dream alive.

To so many legions who now appear to “get it” and are discovering Apple to be the amazing find we knew it was all along – we know more than any – what an accomplishment the team at Apple has achieved. Not just in the innovation which required brilliance but in the courage it required to overcome the obstacle of pessimism, disbelief and those who just couldn’t envision that it could be done.

Is Steve Jobs the Edison or Henry Ford of our time? I don’t know. I suppose history and time will sort those questions out. Our hearts are heavy, but our hats are off. We’ll miss you Steve Jobs.

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The Conversion Begins

15 Thursday Sep 2011

Posted by Solis R. in Austin, Friends, Texas

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Austin, Dan, Longhorns, Texas, UT

IMG_3072 by SolisRough
IMG_3072 a photo by SolisRough on Flickr.

Our new roomie, Dan is a Wisconsin fan. No way he’d ever become a Texas fan. But, I got tickets to the UT vs. BYU game on the 50 yard line! And, Dan was all – Wisconsin? What Wisconsin.

Here he is fully clad in burnt orange and sporting the Longhorns signal. So, I think it’s only a matter of time before he completely forgets where he came from. I still remember fondly… oh… what was that place on the west coast again?

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Fireside: A Great Start to a Wonderful Weekend

12 Friday Aug 2011

Posted by Solis R. in Eric Caruthers, Fun, Life & Living, Missouri, Rob Rough, Round Up, Sober, Spirituality & Recovery

≈ 1 Comment

Gathering outside of Kansas City here’s the view of the fire where we gathered lakeside. The view was wonderful, the stars were bright and it was so peaceful. It certainly set the tone for the weekend and we knew we were in store for something special because we were surrounded by the nicest people and the surroundings were lovely. It was a great opportunity to exhale after the long drive from Texas to Missouri. Eric Caruthers, Rob and I – had the best time.

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Living the California Life in Texas

Rob and I live with our puppies Ganso and Zorra here in Austin Texas. We've been together since 1989 and enjoy spending time with family and friends. We moved to Texas from California in 2007 and it has been amazing transition from Sacramento to Austin. I hope we have an opportunity to get to see you/know you soon. Take care and be well.

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