It hasn’t been 14 days since the inauguration of President Trump, and I must say, it’s far worse than I had anticipated. I say anticipated, rather than I feared, because I made a decision, the morning I woke up following election night that I wasn’t going to take a “Chicken Little” approach to the news.

I had voted, I had contributed in manpower and money for the other candidate, and my side lost. I can be a good loser. I believe in democracy, and although I now seriously question the validity of the Electoral College, currently it is the law of the land, and each side was working with the same set of rules. Thus, I’m willing to concede to the minority of the country that voted for Mr. (and now President) Trump.

So that long period between election night and inauguration, there was a flood of comments coming from the President Elect which did little to reduce my concerns. Perhaps – tomorrow he’ll be more presidential – I thought.

But it never came. After 8 years of having a highly diplomatic, intelligent and a President who was an excellent communicator, I was beginning to see that the new selection was going to be not just a departure from the previous administration, but quite possibly a complete 180 degree polar opposite.

I’ve been on the losing side of an election before. My candidate isn’t victorious and we deal with the disappointment and we move on. Yes, I’ll take the opportunities when they come up to point out the shortcomings of the winning candidate. It’s my right as an American and the society we live in that “I can”. I don’t take it for granted. It’s a solemn responsibility. Speaking of the other side in less than flattering terms is something that both sides do. Sometimes it’s vitriolic and that’s always unfortunate. I think, I hope – that everyone would like to love their President of a country that we cherish.

That’s my hope anyway.

But, not only did our new President not make the transformation into (traditional) presidential, he has set out to upend completely the definition. I can’t say in a positive way. The stream of actions and language coming from the Whitehouse is nothing short of shocking to me. I won’t list all of the questionable comments here, we know what they are – and in all seriousness, without hyperbole, there are seriously are just too many to list.

But, what I’ve been seeing already, in just 12 days is that some of my friends are shutting down. The constant firehose stream of statements, directives in word and actions which could be characterized as unkind, but also questionably legal – have left have the country in shell-shock.

And, what I mean by “shutting down” is becoming so overwhelmed by the news and all the updates that we are becoming desensitized to all of it. My phone alone sounds like a slot machine all day. I’ve had to turn off the audible reminders for breaking news, because quite literally some days there has been been breaking news throughout each hour of the day.

To that degree, I too am part of the worn-down phenomena which i see occurring. Information Fatigue is setting in. Where folks are becoming desensitized to the outrageousness of this administration. It’s an assault on our sensibilities. Each progressive statement and action more offensive and disgusting than the next. I can use that word – disgusting. Because when I speak about an assault on our sensibilities it is precisely that. The parallel that some of my more conservative friends might want to insert at this juncture by saying “well, now you know how we felt for the last 8 years”. It is with complete restraint I must bite my tongue from issuing a string of expletives followed by the word “you”.

While our previous Presidents, all of them, Republican and Democratic have been flawed, and many have exhibited stands on matters that differed from my own – not one of them, not one, left me feeling as though they were completely disinterested in a majority of the country. Nor disinterested in our countrymen’s values or feelings, or civility or even at times, decency. No. You won’t be able to find an example. Because while many of them held positions I found objectionable, I never found their worth as a decent, caring, loving human being without merit.

That all being said, I’m more concerned in this writing about the fatigue setting in among my friends. Those who are turning off or backing away from social media. While limiting one’s exposure to news sources to to keep from going mad might be a good strategy, we could become overwrought with bombardment on so many human rights and human decency fronts – becoming non-reactive creates a worse environment.

A worse environment would be where we become so desensitized that we simply have an internal conversation that goes something akin to “let him do whatever he wants, because I’ve become powerless to do anything anyway and nothing surprises me anymore”

I don’t know where this journey will take us. There’s everything being spouted from successions, impeachments, lawsuits to civil war. I hope for none of these things. But, what I do hope is that we take up voices over arms. Action over apathy. Empathy over indifference. Ultimately, we must take back the house and the senate in just less than 2 years. That would be a herculean feat but a necessary one. Someone must stand in this man’s way or our way of life as we know it is imperil. And, I mean this in all sincerity.

Definition: observation or examination of one’s own mental and emotional state,mental processes, etc.; the act of looking within oneself.

Periodically we are reminded that we need to take a closer look. This is true even if we think we’re on a path of improvement. We have a conversation with someone, or make a needed but sometimes dreaded amends, and the result is another opportunity to pause – and do a self-check.

Self checks are rarely fun, but frequently necessary. It’s not as a friend recently admonished/reminded me about wagging a finger at one’s self, although sometimes admittedly, that’s warranted. It’s more about taking an opportunity to see how my faults have been a drawback or drag on an otherwise helpful demeanor. Causing harms is not something anyone ever aspires for, but we sometimes create harms nonetheless. The important thing is to not continue to do that. It’s important to remember that each of us has the power to change, alter course, correct our trajectory and fly right.

Regretting the past or wishing to shut the door on it, is the emotional equivalent of the proverbial ostrich routine of the head in sand. It serves no purpose, it is not taking stock that I need to do to really see how to set about a path of improvement and thus not repeating past mistakes. I encourage each of us to take advantage of the opportunity for introspection whenever it avails itself. Attend a meditation, look at one’s self, but also have that very important conversations with the those who could help guide you to improve your condition, outlook, line of thought and ultimately action.

I hope you find it within yourself, to have the courage to really look. Sure, it’s sometimes not a pretty sight. But, only through examination and acknowledgement can we change. Change = good.

“I’ll Pray for You”

I had a friend whose an atheist post online regarding prayer. I am a person of action, so while I’m not the type of person who wouldn’t pitch in to help a neighbor, I certainly am the type that would also add that I’m praying.

Prayer, for me is also an action. I suppose to some it might appear to be a meaningless exercise in futility. But, for me there is no more sincere form of expression of my deep caring for your situation or circumstances.

I’m seeking to understand here. Can someone explain to me why people feel the need to pray about things getting better? A little girl is missing near my home town and this is the headline article. How does praying help find this little girl?

It has always bothered me when people say “I’ll pray for you” because it’s a cheap way for them to pretend to have sympathy without actually doing anything to help. Call me a jaded atheist but I’m seeking to understand here.

I get praying may be calming or a form of support but when it’s framed like you’re prayers are going to bring a missing little girl home, I don’t see how you’re helping. Praying does nothing. Get out and form a search party. Go door to door asking people noticing anything strange. Make food for the family so they can focus on the search. Raise money to support the search. But don’t pray about it and pat yourself on the back for doing nothing.

When I indicate I’ll pray for you, I’m calling on a God, personal to me, the energy of the universe to bring about a resolution. Calling on the power of all that is good in the world, in the universe, and in humanity itself is a powerful expression of my concern, care and love for you.

From the days when I was agnostic, a simple “I’m sorry” and walking away -seems by comparison now, so heartless and non-compassionate. When you are hurting, it may not seem like a strong enough gesture. I get it. But what would be? Certainly for circumstances like these, if I searched 24 hours a day until the end of days, and your daughter wasn’t returned – that too would not be enough.

Because of my faith and believing strongly in the power of prayer, I’m committing my energy to bring comfort to you in this time of need. Sometimes through action, sometimes through deed, or just my presence to remind you that in the most difficult times you’re not alone. But, regrettably I’m a human power. My abilities are finite. I’ve accepted that about myself. But, because I conversely think God’s power is infinite, I have hope that your situation will resolve in a way where hope is preserved. I don’t know how that will look. None of us does. But I hope it looks in a way that has you reunited with ones you love. That allows you to live out the remainder of your days with some semblance of happiness and joy.

People often remark about the text messages I send them (I send – a LOT). That comes from God tapping me on the shoulder throughout the day to remind folks that someone is thinking about them this very minute. That they are thought of. That they are loved. That too is an extremely small gesture. I get that. Again, my power is finite. Some people are even not happy with the gesture and tell me to stop, or even F’off. That’s ok too. I wasn’t doing it to remain in your good graces. I was doing it because everyone needs to  be reminded at random times throughout that their life that their world is much bigger than they think – that the impact that they have on others is much more profound that they thought – and that their presence in the lives of others is much more important than they realize.

I’ve been asked what “app” is that – that I’m using to insert a persons name into the text I’m sending them. I always laugh at that. “No. That’s me. Reminding you – that you are thought of, and loved”. It’s often met with a blank stare of disbelief. The worst thing you can say to me in these instances is that I’m being insincere. Alright. That may be your perspective but it saddens me that you have been so hurt, jaded or mistreated that you could be incapable of believing in the kindness of others, the goodness of humanity and that I just wanted to say “hello”.

If we ever evolve as a species where we all think like that – then hope really is lost. In the meantime I’ll pray for you. I’ll pray you get everything you ever wanted, or the acceptance to be alright if  you don’t. Those really are the only two choices.