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Tag Archives: Rob Rough

23 Years. How did This Much Time Pass?

21 Friday Sep 2012

Posted by Solis R. in Uncategorized & Miscellaneous

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Domestic Partner, Gay, Husband, Marriage, Rob Rough

Rob and I celebrated 23 years this year. How we arrived at this point I’ll never know. Time does fly and 23 years would have passed with our without my notice.

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What’s been great this year is the opportunity to look back as we not have before. With so much history together, it’s clear now we have a lengthy reservoir of memories to draw upon. Much like our very first date, we reprised with a visit to a theatre (there’s no drive ins anymore like that first time) and to a restaurant after. (The restaurant has gone up significantly in star rating too).

I believe we laughed together (the main ingredient in our ability to endure times where it’s difficult to find humor in the circumstances) all the way from first course to last. We spent time quizzing one another one what our favorite, and least favorite memories were. This turned out to be a very powerful exercise in examining the years through the kaleidoscope of amazement. True shock that we survived some trials, and admiration for one another for making it through the very roughest ones.

I don’t know anyone with more tolerance, patience and love. He has truly shown me how to be a wonderful human being.

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Summer Begins – Friendships Change

05 Friday Jun 2009

Posted by Solis R. in Uncategorized & Miscellaneous

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Eric Caruthers, Friends, Friendship, Home, Jerry, Landscape, Rob Rough, Summer, Yard


Three Amigos
Originally uploaded by ChristopherSolis.

We have a new Supreme Court Justice Nominee, Ms. Sotomayor. We have an abortion Dr. (Dr. Tiller) who was murdered last week. And, President Obama is running around the Muslim world, making nice.

Closer to home, Spring is in full bloom. Summer almost approaching. I didn’t even know the trees needed pruning. I’m oblivious to such things. Remember, I’m the one who could just as easily live in a condo. I’ve never been very invested in having to have space. The only reason I could see having any outdoor space would be for a dog – and Rob is clear, this is not in the near future. Sigh.

Thus, I could care less about the state of the trees or lawn for that matter. Are they long? Oh. I guess they are. So, let’s hire someone to come and cut them back. Oh hell – cut them down – then we’ll save future cost. But, Rob is a yard person – and so I can easily conced this space to him. The yard is his to do with what he wants.

These things are becoming less contentious all the time. He let me have complete freedom on the paint choice colors in the living room (mostly anyway) and recently he’s agreed the Master Bedroom is mine to decorate as I’d like. Wow. This is from two folks who used to argue about moving the vase a little to the left, or a little to the right.

I guess as one gets older, things like whether we have a quit or comforter on the bed, just don’t seem as important. We’re grateful that Jerry and Eric came over to lend a hand to Rob. It’s fantastic that he has friends who ‘get it’ and understand his love for the yard and things green. Things of green make me sneeze and don’t get me riled up like they do Rob. So having folks who can get as excited about such things is truly a blessing!

—–

The President has nominated Sotomayor to the Supreme Court. Mom called me the other day and asked my thoughts and to be completely candid, I haven’t formed an opinion.

I have my concerns. One is that she’s been completely mum – well, with the exception of the recorded rant they keep playing in the media that some have charged as racist. But I do want to be understanding of the process and that she can’t be forthcoming on her views on things like abortion, etc. To do so would only stir up opposition so the very nature of the process requires that she be tight lipped. She is Catholic, which in my book is not necessarily an asset.

While some say we should “trust” the President – that he certainly wouldn’t nominate someone who wasn’t pro-choice. Would he?

But, my trust for all things Obama is waning. Remember, this is the evolution of candidate Obama who promised to end “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”. He’s since backed off that. And, as California continues it’s march to falling off in to ocean, and less and less people caring – the President still carries the same stance as most moderate Republicans which is to say, he does not believe in marriage.

But, for a warm, fuzzy, we’re all in this together platform where has he been on this issue? Why didn’t he even provide an indication that he stood in solidarity with millions of us who live under American Apartheid?

When advised to judge a man by the content of his character, the character is demonstrated by action – and our President has taken none.

—-

I really don’t get involved in the abortion debate. It’s a sad, sad state of affairs that anyone would be in a position to have one. With the widespread availability of contraceptives there should be no such thing as an unwanted pregnancy. And, it is certainly not solely the woman’s responsibility. This is a shared responsibility between the two people. That being said, they do occur. And, I support a family’s right to choose such matters for themselves. Thus, I support maintaining this freedom while continue to support the use of intelligence, and planning for goodness sake.

What I don’t understand is “pro-life” people who advocate “death” for abortion providers. Some don’t see this as consistent. I am one of them. What’s been hard however is realizing, particularly in Rob’s case, how we’re different from the Midwest folks and the values they hold. I lived there for four years, and Rob of course is from there.

What things like Gay Marriage, and Abortion have brought to the surface is our incompatibility and that’s sad. How does one maintain a friendship with someone who looks down their nose at you, and says that your relationship isn’t as valid as theirs? I’d like to pose this question to Miss Manners. I’m certain she’d respond with something like “Dear Gentle Reader.. in all the decorum one can muster, one should simply look them in the eye and advise that self-fornification might be advisable”

Well, since we’re not those kind of people, we’ve agreed that it may be time to allow some of these relationships to die a natural death. Sometimes matters of distance and time can’t be overcome with a quick connection on Facebook. Or a once-every-6-months-check in whose entire content can be summed up right here .. like this.

How are you?
We are fine. You?
We are too.
Talk to you in Six Months?
Ok, take care.
Bye.

This is hardly the process by which friendships flourish. It would appear, that they can’t even be maintained.

If you love someone, let them know today. And, take more than three words if you can to do it.

Christopher S.

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Living the California Life in Texas

Rob and I live with our puppies Ganso and Zorra here in Austin Texas. We've been together since 1989 and enjoy spending time with family and friends. We moved to Texas from California in 2007 and it has been amazing transition from Sacramento to Austin. I hope we have an opportunity to get to see you/know you soon. Take care and be well.

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